Lulu Bea's Blog

The Fear Monger

Last night, I was thinking about the store that I will be opening up in a couple of months, and I had a visit from the fear monger. You know… all the negative and doubtful thoughts that creep in when you’re trying to do something new, or big, or stretch yourself beyond what you think you are capable of doing.

“Who are you to open up a store? That’s for those people. You’re just you.”

“It’s going to be too hard, too much work. You won’t be able to handle it.”

“You won’t be able to continually think of new projects to offer. You’re not that creative.”

This is what I envision my fear monger to look like… photo

Not so cute. I’m willing to bet that we all have one though. It’s full of all the dark thoughts that lurk inside our minds. That shame that wants to push us down when we’re ready to rise up. I generally do a pretty good job at keeping the fears and doubts away, because I know I am just as worthy as anyone else to reach for success and achieve it ten fold. Yet, there are those moments when old thought patterns surface and I wonder if I should believe them.

So what do I do when the fear monger pays me a visit? Well, firstly, I accept the thoughts that make themselves known. I do not want to get angry at myself for thinking  negative thoughts because the fear is valid. I am doing something totally new and so far out of my comfort zone that the mind’s natural reaction is to try to protect me from being hurt. Hurt how? Failure, rejection, judgement, criticism… all the things that can occur from putting yourself out there and at the mercy of those around you.

Secondly, I give myself permission to be scared. I admit it… I’m freaking scared! I’ve never taken on so much responsibility that will all fall onto my shoulders. Nothing like going from being a stay-at-home mom for the past 10+ years, where I got to set my own schedule and do as I pleased, to owning and running a store for 40+ hours a week! What the hell am I thinking?!?! Honestly, now that I take a step back and think about it… this is actually very true to my nature – go big or go home. When I’m in, I’m ALL IN. So as much as it terrifies me to take this next leap, the thought of not trying is scarier. I have to try. I have to show up in this life of mine. Sticking with what is known, familiar and safe = me shrinking from what life has to offer. I owe it to myself to go for the dream.

Thirdly, I tell myself that I do not need to know how to do everything right away, and failure is a-ok. I knew this would be a learning lesson, so I need to accept that I will get some things wrong, yet at the same time, I will also get some things right. Failure is just a natural consequence of growth. Sometimes you win, sometimes you expose your heart and your being, only to be crushed and want to crawl into your bed to forget about the day (true story!). We humans are resilient folk though… and the lows are just part of the deal. BUT, the lows always help us enjoy the highs that much more, so in the end, they are a good thing.

Fourthly, I pamper myself with love!! Whether it be taking a hot bath, meditating, or embarking on a search and destroy mission with blackheads (I’m sorry… I just love it!!), I take some time just for me. This helps me get centered, calm myself down, and basically remember that I am perfect just the way I am. This is exactly where I need to be at this exact moment in time… and I accept the good, the bad, and the ugly (though hopefully visits from the ugly fear monger will be few and far between!).




  1. Terri Tischer

    The fear monger was at my house last night too and about the same thing! I wish I could paint like you, I think it would be therapeutic! My fear monger shows up when I’m too tire so I went to bed and slept for 10 hours! Today my fear monger is much smaller and less scary! You are so wise my friend – all that you say to yourself and others, so thoughtful and inspiring! Hang in there and keep the faith – you can do it!

  2. Pingback: My Big WHY | Lulu Bea's Blog

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